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Romance and Me: The Cheater Files
Filed in Romance and Me , The Latin Lover Posted on August 24, 2011 @ 10:00 am
8 comments
Hey Everyone!
Today’s post was inspired by the novel I am currenty reading where the heroine has trust issues with the hero due to her father being a cronic cheater and growing up having to witness her father’s womanizing ways.
Cheating is not a theme often explored in romance novels (or maybe it’s just me who doesn’t stumble upon those stories), the most I have seen is the hero or heroine having a jealousy fit but usually unfounded and serving only to prove the depth of their affection for each other.
But instances where either the hero or the heroine cheats on the other or someone else (either by thought, kiss, making out or sex) are rare. I would guess because witnessing either the hero or the heroine being unfaithful, even if to a third (and only marginal) character would make us readers have negative feelings about them and that would undermine how much we would be invested in their story and rooting for their HEA.
Have you read any romance novels where either the hero or heroine cheated?
Can you overlook such transgression or once having cheated, that character is lost to you?
Could you imagine enjoying a romance novel where the heroine forgave the cheating hero (or vice versa)?
Can a heroine love a man who cheated? Could you understand or sympathize with such a heroine?
These are just a few of the questions I thought of when reading this book, and as always I’m curious to read your thoughts, so please tell me what’s your take on cheating in romance novels.
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I had a reader/reviewer comment that the one thing they didn't like about one of my romances was that the heroine had a relationship before she got together with the hero. I do know that romance readers like their hero and heroine to be total soul mates, and my hero and heroine were. But after they met, they were separated for five years and each had relationships with other people – she with one other man, he with a couple women.
Once they got back together, there was no question – they would not cheat.
What I found interesting is that the reader had no issue with the hero seeing other women during the five years the two main characters had no contact with each other, but she had an issue with the heroine seeing one other man, even though she broke up with him long before she got back with the hero.
I can not stand romances where one of the lead characters cheats on the other or cheats in general. I get really upset by such things and usually give up on books like that.
Stupidly enough I handled a rape scene in one of my favourite series better than a cheat scene in another series. I'm weird like that.
One of the first and few books I read where the hero/heroine cheated was Kat Martin's "Perfect Sin." The hero cheated on the heroine and it was downhill from there because I couldn't get over that fact and the book was ruined for me.
@Julia: That is weird, since in your novel the hero and heroine weren't a couple at the time of seeing other people. (And this sexist double standard completely infuriates me) Sure it is "more romantic" if they know they are meant for each other and hold out until they get back together but
1) let's be realistic: who would wait years without getting close to anyone else if there was no obvious chance of getting back together with that first person?
2) persons end up the way they are due to all the experience they went through. So if the heroine didn't go out with those boyfriends, she very well could have ended up differently and not the woman perfect for the hero. So in the end it's the big way of the universe, that everything happens for a reason.
@Sully: Phew, that sure is weird. But I agree, haven't come across cheating romance stories yet, but don't know if I could forgive and forget and buy into their HEA after that :-/
@Jane: thank you Jane, will take a look at that, haven't come across any cheater romances. Why do you think the author chose to go with such a plot?
Stella, I have no idea why the author did this. I'm sure many readers did not like the infidelity.
I don't recall reading a cheating story although it does seem that I must have at some point.
Does "The Next Best Thing" count? Ethan falls for Lucy in college, but when he brings her home to meet his family, she falls for and marries his older brother Jimmy. Eventually, after Jimmy's death, they have their HEAs but does this mean that Lucy "cheated" on Ethan by marrying Jimmy?